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RIP Robin Williams.

Sleep now, sweet, funny, loveable man. Tears instead of laughter tonight, but you'll never be forgotten. Forever on our screens, forever in my heart.
My beautiful Alcide *tear*.

That is all.


Because a full Thoughts? Ain't nobody got time for that.
Jason and Eric made out in Jasons homovamp-bloodsex-churchboner dream, so that was awesome :) Fanservice, I loves it.

*Eric is alive but totes not really because OMG HEP-V. Sads

*Hallucination-ish crucified angel Tara! Hi hallucination-ish crucified angel Tara! :D

Done :D Patch be sleepin' now.

True Blood Thoughts, season 7, episode 1

You guys. You guys, seriously. Our show, it is back, but only for this one last itty bitty season with these ten teensy weensy little episodes :( And OMG! OMG, I watched it a couple of hours ago, and now I want to re-watch it and do the thoughts, but OMG. I never actually finished doing the Thoughts for last season, but eh, whaddayagonnado. I'm not one of those OCD people who completes things. I get emotionally involved after being without my imaginary vampire friends for the best part of a year, then by about episode 3 I learn to deal and become one with reality once again. So, no promises for seeing out all of this season here either, but hey, let's just see how we go.

*Previouslies. OMG, previously. We know. I was sprinkling parmesan on my bolognese at this point, because I've been watching this stuff for years.

*Uh-oh. Opening credits aren't even on the screen yet, but here is the clusterfuck. Hep V positive vamps are fucking up this little mixer pretty damn good. Alcide wolfs at one's throat. Jason tries to help a uselessly frozen Jane Bodehouse. That's going great except not really because they're each grabbed by a vamp. Violet stakes the one holding Jason, so that's nice. Some nice vamp is trying to get Holly and Arlene to safety, but she's staked by a nasty vamp, so Holly and Arlene are not so much safe as taken. Sam herds people inside. Tara tries to get Lettie-Mae to move, but she's shocked and useless too. There's so many frozen people here I'm surprised "Let It Go" hasn't started playing. Some big bald scary is monstering Tara who is administering a rather impressive throw down. Rosie and Kevin try to escape in the police cruiser, but here's some vamp to drag Kevin out of it and leave Rosie to do a Ginger scream. Nice pipes, love. That old dude whose name I can't remember tries to get Nicole to safety, but they're both taken, which pisses Sam off in no small amount. He dogifies and gives chase. I shamelessly wonder if he'd move this fast for a tennis ball or the postman. I am awful. Some shrill whistle calls all the scary infected vamps away. Most people are quietly traumatised. Lettie-Mae is wailing. Everyone walks to her and ...OMG. She's covered in red goo. THAT RED GOO WAS TARA! I CANNOT. I CANNOT EVEN. THEY KILLED A MAJOR CHARACTER BEFORE THE STRIPPER ASS AND KLAN KIDS EVEN GRACED THE SCREEN. I'm with Lettie-Mae - they killed my baby Tara *tears*.

*Credits. I'm chewing my knuckles right now.

*Jason calls Andy and gives him a head's up. Andy hears that Holly and Arlene are gone, so he wants to go and help. Adalyn is to stay put and not let Jessica in. Jessica is lovely and helpful and tells Andy to go and not worry. She'll take care of the babyfae. Andy is a bit mean and seems to enjoy telling her that Tara is dead. Jess cries.

*Sookie stands there in shock, unable to block out anyone's brainhate. Lala is already hitting the top shelf stuff, and man, can we really blame him? Some pseudo-politician suit is pretty pissed off that the whole thing went this far, and how it's clearly all Sookie's fault. If we're meant to know who he is, I'm drawing a blank here. Willa is trying to help Lettie-Mae who is kind of injured, but Lettie-Mae DNW.

*Andy, Jason, Bill, etc talk tactics. Suit guy sees Sam un-dog. He is creeped. Lettie-Mae agrees to sip on some Willa. Andy DNW Bill to go with, but Bill sort of has to go with.

*Alcide thinks some stuff that makes Sookie mad. It's not really heinous, but I can see where she's at. She wanders off solo because of that ass of hers and it's dumbness.

*The guy who is now James who is not the guy who was James last season calls Jess to touch base. Jess is not hungry and will not be eating now, because she has a teenfae to protect. James is not happy, but whatevs.

*Suit guy calls Sam out on his dogness. Sam is all, yep, I'm a part time pup, but lets have that talk later, because of the bloodbath we're currently standing in. Guy backs away looking freaked. Sam and Bill tell the vamp/human pairs to go home and stay safe. Humans are to meet at church in the morning. Bill tasks James with taking a slightly shaky Lafayette home. That sweet gay vamp who glamoured Terry last year is going to take Sam home.

*Alcide calls Sookie, who is too butthurt to answer. She throws her phone away instead, because that always helps. Especially when you then fall over a dead chick in the woods and can't even 911 that shit.

*We're in Marrakesh, Morocco. Some souk/underground fight club/something. Pam is playing a snarky game of Russian Roulette with Some Arabic Douche Vamp. They're standing in large bowls, presumably to catch the splatter. He's goading her with details of just how many times she's survived this. Pam does not have but a single fuck to give. I'm thinking she already felt Tara die. The spectators are betting on a winner. Some Arabic Douche Vamp thinks Allah loves him. Pam says god hates her. SADV thinks Pam needs to be make peace with god, or somesuch shit like that. Pam is a scriptwriters wet dream as she tells SADV that his god and her god can rent a motel room and have a circle jerk for all she cares, she'll be in hell having a three-way with the devil. I'm already wondering who the third invite goes out to. He says something about the love in Pam's heart or whatever, then promptly loses his 28th game of Russian Roulette. The punters are unhappy. The bowl of slush is carried away. Pam asks someone where her maker is - so this is the motivation.

*Adalyn creeps at the window. Jess don't need to be smellin' that. They're sort of leveling with each other here - they both have nightmares, so that's soul-crushing. Adalyn asks Jess, what if she can't help killing her? And you know what, fair question. It's kind of one or the other isn't it? Either she genuinely couldn't help the attack on the four fairy girls, and therefore wouldn't be able to stop herself killing Adalyn - or she's got the self-control to NOT kill Adalyn, and therefore should have used it to not kill the other three. But then again - there were four of them, she was stressed, starving, not focussed, etc. It's kind of heartbreaking to watch, because Jessica so badly doesn't want to hurt anyone. She never did. Adalyn says she should hate Jessica, but she doesn't. Jess cries again. Adalyn changes the subject to boys, and they dish a little bit about James and Wade. They become almost!besties, but here's that big bald scary. Adalyn is JESSICA'S.

*Sookie and Alcide fight about her walking home alone and him thinking blame at her. And her reading his thoughts. She knows it's not fair, but it is just so badly not her fault. Poor girl is so exhausted and so close to breaking point. Alcide is fairly understanding, so I guess we're not mad at him.

*Jason and Violet are in the car. He reminisces about Tara as a little girl. He's sad. There are already people at this place they're supposed to be checking out. It's Suit! And some other people I'm sure we don't know. These people don't trust the Bill/Sam Safe Vamp Plan (tm) to help them. They're going vigilante. Jason is doing an okay job at handling this whole thing, but Violet is crazy hostile and psychotic and annoying both him and me. The randos leave. Jason WTFs Violet.

*James takes Lafayette home. Lafayette is happy to give him blood, but he will be getting horrendously drunk and stoned first, plzkthx. James is more than okay with that, and participates in a couple of bong hits himself. He's a 60s boy, so I'm guessing he knows what he's doing here, but can vamps even get high? Like, on people drugs? Isn't that kind of like how a dog can't catch a people cold? Lafayette confirms that James is Jessica's boy, and comments that Jessica is cool.  He's numb about Tara - he grieved for her the first time she died.  I have to say, I expected more feels from him.  I was also hoping they'd be reconciled this year.  Oh wells.   James waxes lyrical about all his friends dying in Nam. He was a conscientious objecter because he was a flower power peacenik. Lala would have been too if he'd been there, and I can totally see that. James talks about his friend who was a REALLY good friend, cue Lala eyebrow raise. His friends' dad beat him senseless for being queerish, so some vamp mercy-turned him. This James is a bit prettier than last year's James, so see the Prediction section for more on that. Lala offers up his wrist and probably his ass in a couple of episodes.

*Jason is all pissed at Violet, and I have to say, I'm disappointed in this scene.  I was hoping we'd see a grown-up Jason this time around, who would be all "you know what, play your stupid little cock-tease sex games all you want, but do NOT interfere in my job", which would have earned my respect.  I'm in law enforcement too, so I know what it's like when people overstep the damn mark.  But he's more focussed on the blueness of his balls.  It turns out that all Violet wanted was to be forcibly dominated, so she lets him bang her on the hood of the police cruiser.  To be honest, after that abstinence Violet imposed on him I'm kind of suprised he didn't nut then and there, but he managed quite a few thrusts.  Props for stamina.  Her tits aren't bad, but I can see her ribs and I'm not real into that.  Stackhouse's arse is still quite nice.

*Big Bald Scary is taunting Jessica and threatening to eat Adalyn.  Jessica is keeping him at bay, and wants Adalyn to have some of her blood so she can find/protect her.  Adalyn is momentarily grossed but acquieses quickly.

*Lettie-Mae is high on too much Willa blood (she only had a little bit, but Willa is young and therefore has cray-cray blood and Lettie-Mae has a pretty low substance tolerance now after cold-turkeying for so long).  Reverend Daniels convinces her to sleep.  He and Willa bond a little - he's quite sweet really.  Willa is scared now that she's flying solo -  her roomie Tara dead and Pam/Eric AWOL.  Reverend Daniels will let her stay in the light-tight basement of the church for as long as she likes.  Seeing how nice he is, it's sort of a pity Tara never really got to know him - she could have done with a nice stepdaddy like that.

*Pam is still at this underground bar type place.  She wants to talk to some dude.  She hands him a slip of paper, he laughs.  She hands him a big ass wad of cash, and he calls his six year old over.  The poor little love looks scared - apparently the only clean blood in North Africa is children's blood.  Pam has just lost her own baby, she will not be having with hurting someone elses.  She has to snark about it though, so she brushes off the guy's comments about her obvious need for a feed and asks where in the blue eff her maker is.  He hands over a map, she says it can't be right.  He insists that it is, and that it's up to her what she does with it.

*Sookie gets her baps out and curls up with a shirtless, sleeping Alcide.  If I had the opportunity to be naked in the proximity of that man, I'd probably do the very same.  They apologise and do each other.  Damn, there's something about him, he just looks warm, y'know?

*Bill and Andy arrive at some warehouse type deal.  There's blood and ookiness everywhere, which Bill says is a Hep V nest.  They stumble upon some upside down hanging corpses.  Andy gags on the smell.  At first I thought one of the bodies was Arlene, but it isn't.  Andy pukes.  Ruh-roh, Suit and his buddies are in the next room.  We have an argument similar to the one we just had with Jason and Violet.  Suit is going to be a problem this year, I can see that.  Bill tells them to let Andy go, they can keep him as a hostage.  They agree.  Andy pulls a full-on badass move and says a bunch of cool lines, and he is such a motherfucking action hero this year.  He talks about wanting to kill Bill (hee) and points a gun at him.   At first I thought it was just a ploy to get them out of this, but y'know what, he's really thinking about it for a second there.  He doesn't though, and intimidates one of Suit's little buddies out of wanting to kill them.  Renegade humans run away again on Andy's say so.

*Fangtasia.  Hep V vamps are chewing on some dude.  Arlene, Holly, Kevin, Nicole and Jane Bodehouse are chained up to the torture wheel in the basement and are all so painfully terrified that I'm not sure I have enough hugs to simultaneously share around.  Holly is trying to hold the shit of everybody together.  Some killy little emo vamp comes downstairs to pick his next meal.  He doesn't like the smell of Arlene, so he turns on poor little Kevin and starts chowing into his arteries right there on the basement stairs while the women scream in sheer terror.  This is not fun for anybody involved.

*Bill tries to be the bigger man and thank Andy for saving his ass.  Andy says he did it because he needs Bill's help, not because they're good.  They will never be good.  I can see where he's coming from  - even though Bill is back on our team now, Andy is all nice and pissed off about his other three fairyteens.  I think we can let him have this one.

*Bill flashes back to saying goodbye to his human family on the porch of his house.  Not quite sure what we're doing here.

*Jessica and the scary guy are both starting to simmer a bit.  Adalyn is worried and tells Jessica to go home.  Jessica is all dammit fae, do not be inviting me in.  Adalyn "trusts" Jessica, which gingervamp thinks might be going full retard.  Adalyn goes full retard and invites Jessica in.  Jess does an involuntary throat-grab-artery-inhale kind of thing while Adalyn looks pants-pissingly scared, then catches herself and backs off.  Have to say, the whole thing looked a teensy bit barely-legal too, and now that littlefae has had vamp blood, I'm wondering if there'll be dream sequences of immense awkwardness.  Adalyn points Jessica upstairs to the attic.  Scary bursts into flames outside.  Jessica wins this round.

*Reverend Daniels tries to calm his remaining parishoners.  That little girl Sookie met last season is there and waves to her.  Sookie tries to put a hand on Lettie-Mae's shoulder.  Lettie-Mae is furious and tells Sookie she's not welcome in the church.  Everyone else (including fat sweaty Maxine Fortenberry) thinks the same thing.  Sookie calls them out on it and says that like it or not, she's the vamp expert around here, and she wants to help them all.



*This whole idea that Tara might not be FOR SRS dead. Like, maybe not ... but probably. I mean, I think she is, because Pam was all "everything I love goes away, woe is me", and really she can only mean Tara. I know, Eric, but see, it's my understanding that vamps can only feel their progeny dying, not their maker - and besides, Eric released Pam, so they don't have that vamp-brain-connection thingy anymore anyway. I think that's why she's cracked the sads so good and hard. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to give her all the hugs, but I'm still leaning on the side of past tense Tara. The only thing that leaves me in doubt is the lack of seeing the actual death and whatnot. Is Lettie-Mae a good enough actress to pull a fast one on that? I doubt it ... and besides, what would her motivation be? Nope. Last season, they can do what they want here. She dead. I sad.

*Edit:  Just read an interview with Rutina Wesley.  Tara is dead.  It's not a fakeout.  Have to say, I'm not overly happy.  I mean, I agree that not everyone could make it until the end, and in the final season, everyone is fair game.  But to just get rid of her with no wrapping up of her character at all feels a bit cold and stilted.  I mean, her and Pam were a thing.  We never really saw her properly fix everything with Sookie.  And OMG, Lafayette - I'm really hoping she comes back as a ghost and talks to him whilst he's doing his medium thing because that's the only way I'll be coping with this sudden, Tara-less existence.  I'm okay with her dying - it will bring everyone together and was a good catalyst for the start of the season, kind of like a "fuck slow introductions, we're jumping in and making things happen right away" kind of thing.  But it just feels too brushed aside for my liking.  Terry got a big fancy funeral with most of Bon Temps in attendance.  Even goddamn Hoyt got more of a send off.  But Tara dies and everyone's just like "Oh.  Well ... damn".  Nope.  Not okay.  I can see what they were going for, but it just comes across as a bit lazy and not doing the character justice.

*Jess and Adalyn becoming besties - called it. Totally fucking called it. Had the fic half written in my brain all hiatus. If Andy goes up to the attic and kills Jessica in her sleep though, I will be Done with all things Bellefleur.

*Based on that preview of Lafayette saying he wants some happiness too, I'm seeing a mildly cheaty thing going on between him and James, ie, Jessica's James.  Lafayette would probably feel bad about screwing Jessica over - and I'm thinking Jessica would decide that she deserves it, because after her fae-slaying, she's not good enough for James anyway.  Apparently the dude who played James last year wanted out of his contract because he "didn't like the direction the character goes in this season".  That sounds to me like code for "I don't want to do boysex on screen", which, dude, way to knock back a cherry gig.  Do actors just not want to work these days?  Enjoy catalogue modelling and waiting tables at Bubba Gumps dude.  EDIT:  Called.  It. --->http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/89272374.html

*Suit is our nemesis this season, yes?

*WTF caused that whistle that made the Hep V vamps back off?  Is there a leader?  Is he/she/it our nemesis instead?

*Other deaths predicted: Maxine.  Either Sam or Nicole.  Bill, but not until the last episode.  Or, Alcide, and Sookie will be turned by Bill.  Andy?  IDK.

*I'm all nicely spoiled now, so I know we're getting Eric back, so that's nice.  If Tara is well and truly gone and I don't get to see her and Lafayette patch up their relationship, I at least want Pam and Eric back on track.  That's my pick for their ending actually - they leave for some far off corner of the world to do it all over again, in that platonic-but-not bffs-with-benefits thing they probably had going on for the better part of a century.  What an amazing end that would be for Eric - yes, he had a little dalliance with a pretty fairy, but at the end of the day, all he and Pam need is each other.  Forever.

Oh, show.  Here we are again.

Fred Phelps. RIP ... well, maybe.

So that's it, he's gone. I'm a bit conflicted about this one. On one hand, he was the most hateful, vile, horrendous old bile-spewer in the world - on the other, he was a half-senile old fool with silly signs in bright colours. I'm not shedding any tears over him - he founded that dreadful cult and was therefore responsible for all the reprehensible things they did. I don't think anyone could possibly be sorry that the man who caused a group of disgraceful followers to picket the funerals of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary school tragedy is dead. I don't think anybody should be losing any sleep because the man who told his flock to protest the funerals of American soldiers is in the ground.

But I've also read some tweets from his granddaughters, Lauren and Megan. I remember Megan from the Louis Teroux documentary a few years ago, and back then the horrendous girl made my blood boil. But now, as we all knew so many of then would, she's left that awful cult and come to her senses. And she's sad because her grandfather is gone, and I think I can understand that. As much as I hate the adults who believe this crap and choose to preach Fred's hate to the world, I feel sorry for all the stupid little kids who stand by the roads holding "God Hates Fags" signs because their woeful excuses for parents tell them to. Megan, Lauren and lots of the other young adults who have since (or surely, will have soon) left the cult can't be held responsible for that. My issue with the adults has always been that they're adults - they have the ability to leave, to think for themselves, to have some comprehension and compassion in regard to what they're doing to others, and yet they're choosing not to. But when you're born into that, what can you do? When you're five years old, grandpa is just grandpa. You don't understand issues like homosexuality, religion or hate, you just love your grandfather. At ten years old, maybe you realise that people hate him, but of course you have no idea why. And really, at what age do you draw the line? When your family, your friends, your entire social circle is entrenched in this ideology, how do you even find a way out?

Megan posted that she wished the world knew how kind and loving her grandfather could be at times. I take issue with that - I don't think Fred had any semblance of kindness in him at all. But how can his granddaughter, who sat on his lap as a child and who adored him with every bit of her little-girl heart, be expected to see that? It must be an enormous struggle that she and the rest of the exiled family are facing now, learning to love after a lifetime of hate. I think we owe it to them, and to ourselves to forgive them. I know I do.

I often found Fred a bit hard to take seriously - he seemed such a doddering old fool, half-senile and full of bigoted nonsense. He was such a product of a bygone era, and was really nothing more than a figurehead in recent years. His deplorable daughter Shirley seemed to take on more of the hate-mongering than he did. Fred has been obsolete for a long time, and was apparently excommunicated last year.

I think the more important thing to realise though is that however much hate the Westboro Baptist Church spewed out into the world, IT NEVER BROKE US. Fred tried for years to make the whole world hate as much as he did, and it achieved the exact opposite effect - the LGBT community banded together to protect themselves from his vitriol. Christian communities used him as an example of what not to do, and embraced love when they otherwise might not have. Bikers, servicemen and women, families, friends and strangers joined together to stop them hurting those who were mourning loved ones. And through all the abuse, drama and hate, that's the one thing that stayed constant. The WBC never won. Never.

So now that he's gone, let's not embrace the hatred he tried so hard to preach to the world for decades. Let's be gracious in defeat. We were always going to win this one, so how about showing a little bit of the love Fred was so undeserving of, and offering a bit of love and support to the people struggling with loss. If a hateful old man like Fred Nile can't destroy the spirit of love in the world, nothing can.

I know a lot of people are hoping he's in hell. I don't believe in hell, and even if I did, I don't think I'd wish that for him. I hope wherever he is, he's in the midst of a long-overdue epiphany. I hope he's learning all the things he needed to know on earth. I hope he's learning to love, to forgive, and to repent - not for the sake of god, but for the sake of the people he left behind.

I'm not celebrating his death, because that would imply that he was ever a threat to us. We are stronger than he will ever will be, and love will always win out over hate. There was never any question about that, so why act as though we've lost a worthy opponent? Fred Phelps was never our equal. He never said or did anything that was going to change the world. He was a blight on a paragraph of history, but it's over now and we're still standing. He's not. So I'm going to offer my condolences to the brave, confused, heartbroken young women who have lost their beloved grandpa, because to me that's all he needs to be remembered as. His religious hatred can be forgotten. We can choose to never think of him again, god knows he deserves it. But he was family to some people, and I'll never stoop to the WBC level of taking that away from them.

Goodbye Fred. I won't miss you - but there are a few that will. I hope you realise how little you deserve it. I hope you find the love and understanding in death that you never knew in life.


I hate my stepmother. Stupid fucking game-playing bitch. One day she'll go too far, and Dad will have to choose between her and me - and the part she doesn't seem to understand is, it won't even be a choice.

Edit now that I'm calmer: I don't hate her. I love my stepmother, and I always have. I think she's playing stupid, manipulative, controlling games because she's conflicted about something, and I'm the undeserving recipient of part of the ensuing bullshit. She upset me, and she's far too self-involved to see that, much less apologise, but the problem is hers, and it's not worth me being distraught over. At the end of the day, she's only hurting herself - and I think that's the only thing that will snap her out of it. I'll detach from the situation, and let her keep digging herself deeper - she'll realise her mistake when she has to drag herself out of the hole.

Flight MH370

To quote Nick Cave, I don't believe in an interventionist god. Sometimes though, like now, I wish I did. I want to be able to ask someone to fix this, and hope they heard me, and believe it could happen. I want to have faith that a miracle could still occur. More than that, I want to do something, something real, not just talk to imaginary ghosts and pray to nonexistent angels. My first reaction was to think about how eerie it is, like an episode of LOST- but now it's gone beyond being mysterious and unsettling, it's downright terrifying, nauseating, devastating. I'm clinging to any scrap of faith and hope I can muster up, and if pleading with the gods is all I can do right now, believe me I'm doing it ... because I'll try anything. I'll do anything. We need them back.




Robert Hughes' trial has begun ... lets hope they crucify the bastard. Love and strength to Sarah Monahan and all others fighting the good fight.
Damn those youtube blogger girls.  And the actual bloggers.  These people are costing me some serious moolah, but it's also my fault in the sense that I freaking love all these lotions and potions, and wouldn't stop purchasing them even if I could.  I bought all the stuff mentioned in my last post, because I am weird, and I am depraved, and yet I must smell nice.  Here's the stuff I've ordered on Ebay/bought from the pharmacy in the past week or so ... and all the shit I so desperately don't need, but will order from Ebay come pay day.

*Things from last time that have since arrived - the Orofluido (haven't used it yet, the shine spray smells a bit alcoholic but the rest is a lovely vanilla amber scent), the Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla Hair Smoothie (love the smell, undecided on the results), the Laura Mercier Creme Brulee Body Souffle (love it, not sure if it's a must-have though - a bit too pricey to repurchase), the Pholosophy Shower Gels (all smell yummy except the Hot Cocoa one which sadly never arrived ... eff you, Amazon), and the Soap & Glory (love Clean Girls, Glad Hair Day shampoo and thick conditioner, Flake Away, The Righteous Butter, Peaches & Clean, and Clean Mary, haven't tried Whipped Clean yet).  Oh, I also got the Honeymania stuff from the Body Shop, the Honey & Shea line which is a blatant rip off of it courtesy of L'Occitane, and a hell-tonne of seasonal Lush, all of which is either confirmed to be amazing, or untried as of yet but most likely to be amazing.  OH, and some extra Victoria's Secret - I bought Pure Seduction lotion because I love the scent of the scrub, then on the way home at the airport I picked up Strawberries & Champagne lotion because I'd bought it for the other bestie, and it smelled divine, so I needed some for my little self.  And, hell, while I'm still going, I found the Benefit body/bath/massage oil, Soft To Touch, Hard To Get, right as I'd convinced myself I didn't need it after all - as it turns out, I was wrong, I needed it quite urgently, and so I met that need.

*More Soap & Glory - I ordered the peach lip balm (forgotten it's actual name), the Wish Upon A Jar serum/treatment stuff (cool jar, it's meant to smell like chocolate orange, and I needed a night cream/treatment/something with some anti-aging properties because I'm an old Patch now!), and some more Righteous Butter, because my little tub won't cut it for much longer, and the larger one has a cute picture on it.  Should all arrive next week.

*A metric fuck-tonne of nail polish.  No, seriously.  I'm putting myself on a ban unless/until Glitterdaze gets an Australian distributor.  Not sure how long that will last, but I now have SO DAMN MUCH and I haven't even tried half of it.  Must.  Stop.

*Original Source Mint Chocolate shower gel.  The site tantalisingly tells me it's available at Aussie retailers.  A quick phone call to Coles and Woolies revealed that this is not the case.  Was unable to not own this, and so to Ebay UK I went.  Awaiting eagerly.

*A Clarisonic Mia 2.  Oh god.  I am a cliche.  But it's yellow, I wanted it, and I'm fairly sure it's not a fake one (and I know how to tell if it is, so I'll be returning it pronto if they've scammed me).  Had to have, ladies and gentlemen, had to have.

*Keihls Magic Elixir, as if I need more hair oil things.  Read a review by a fellow Aussie girl who loved it, found myself craving it, it's on my watch list.  Yeah, we all know I'll be buying it.

*Payot Pate Grise zit zapping stuff.  Actual practical thing, and am therefore convincing myself heartily that I may have it.  I hate those painful blind pimples, so I'm keen to try this.

*Murad Clarifying Mask.  Never heard of it until yesterday when I saw some girl use it in her "Nightly Routine" youtube video (these are my new obsession - why can't I stop?  WHY?!?).  Want it.

*Bioderma.  Just a little one to see what all the fuss is about.  It's about time I jumped on board.

*Some Clinique Chubby Sticks - Caramel, Mimosa, and Melon, ie, the wuss shades.  I like the idea of colouring my face with a crayon, because I'm a kindergartener, not a sophisiticated woman who takes makeup seriously.  I also like the idea of things that are more of a balm or stain than real, adult lipstick, because I'm scared I'll look like said kindergartener playing dress up if I wear bold shades.

*Some Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stains - Precious, Charm and Honey, for the above wimpy/childish reasons.

*A Maybelline Babylips Lip Balm, because I absolutely do not need more lip balm, except for the part where I totally do - I got the Mango Pie one, which smells nice :)

*Some Urban Rituelle lip balms, which I also bought for my besties.  I love the scents because I'm an Aussie beach girl at heart, and cannot resist things called Frangipani or Mango Milk, especially when they come in hippie-ish tubes.

*Not really a "product" product, but some awesome herbal insect repellant recommended to me by a bestie.  Smells nicer than Aeroguard any day.

*Some Raspberry Lemonade Blistex, because one of my besties was wearing it on our recent road trip, and the scent of it would fill the car.  I've now associated that scent with our lovely holiday, and so I had to have.

*A Revlon Lip Butter, because it's a lipstick but not really - Berry Smoothie is less of a wuss shade than I'd usually go for, but a youtube girl was wearing it and it seemed very subtle, so I decided to be a big brave Patch.

*Some new shamps and condis - I have no room and no need for any more, but when I have the space, some Alchemy, Grown Alchemist, and Aubrey Organics in honeysuckle & rose wouldn't hurt.  Thanks for stomping on my wallet, blogger girls.

*Some cloth masks - not really the youtubers' fault, as I've been intrigued by these since that evil Zoe Foster decided to write a book that made me give a fuck about makeup again. I've just picked up some Skinvitals ones because they were cheapy, and I want to try some to see if they suck before I shell out a boatload of coin on the exxy ones.

*Some make-up wipes - I don't use these to take makeup off because a) I rarely wear any and b) they don't work well enough so I don't trust them to take all the coloured stuff off my skin.  I only use cleansing oil/butter for that.  These are usually reserved for freshening up in the car if it's a hot day or if I get grimy, or for when I'm flying.  Have just used up my last lot (empties will be listed at the end), so I've decided to try Witch because a) it's Halloween and that's a cool name, and b) witchhazel is supposed to do actual good things for one's skin.  Also - cheapy.

*Some Batiste dry shampoo in tropical - to see what all the fuss is about.  So far I like the scent, and it's cheaper and more effective than the Lush one which makes my hair a boofy/frizzy mess.  Also I can pick it up at Woolies instead of trekking to the city.  I'll use the last of my Lush one (I actually have heaps left, and am contemplating using it as a body powder, deodorant, or even a vaccuum/carpet deodoriser), but then no moresies.

*Some Sally Hansen nail sticker thingies, because they look like love letter writing, and they're cute.

*A two-pack of Turbie Twist Hair Towels!  I'd vaguely heard of them before and thought they seemed interesting, then a blogger girl raved about them, and they looked retro enough to complement my Soap & Glory fifties kitch vibe I'm into right now, so I hightailed it to Big W in an out of the way suburb today where they actually had some of the bastards left.  And in the white/pale pink duo pack, no less, which happens to be the exact one I wanted.  Looking forward to testing!

*Luxe Shea Caramel shower gel - supermarket junk?  Yes, probably.  But also recommended by Winterrose84 (who I now know is called Renee), and it does indeed smell luscious.

*Speaking of luscious, cheap bodywash, I also got Original Source Vanilla Milk and Raspberry, which has me wanting to drink it because it smells like a milkshake, and Strawberry Smoother from some other embarrassingly cheap brand I can't remember, which has me wanting to drink IT, because it smells like a milkshake.

* And speaking of berry things, I got an ELF strawberry creme lip balm on Ebay, because don't most girls own at least one strawberry lip balm at some point during their lives?

*Some candles.  A peachy one in a crystal topped box should arrive from Sohum this week.  I bought a new Glasshouse La Maison no.2  which is divine, and the Christmas miniatures, which will be lovely to burn come December.  I have serious wantses for another few La Maisons, in particular no.5, but I also have the craves for 1, 3, and 4.  I don't need 6, because it's nice, but nothing special.  No. 2, however, is unimaginably gorgeous, it's an enchanted forest and I have intense loves.

*Not in the scented-things category, but I'm still insanely excited to receive it - the new Allie Brosh book, based on the Hyperbole & A Half blog!  OMG, OMG, OMG.  I may actually squeal when it gets here.


*Some make-up wipes - Simple in the mango scent.  I used these when I travelled recently, and there's one still left in the car.  Nice amount of liquid, worked reasonably well, smelled okay (much better than the dreadful Say Yes To Blueberries ones ... urgh.  Never again).  No reason to rush out and repurchase, but nothing wrong with these.

*A teeny sample of Dior facial serum.  Seemed nice enough, but there's no reason to splash out on Dior prices when there's Lush Full Of Grace or some rosehip oil from the drugstore which works even better, makes my face softer, and smells prettier to boot :)

*Some vaguely floral-scented body lotion I pinched from a Thai hotel room.  Whatevs.

*Almost empty/will be in a week or so, therefore I'm not really cheating:  a travel size shower gel from Bath & Body Works in the Carried Away Scent - I really like this, but because I also have a big bottle of it, I've been taking the mini on every boring work/family trip over the last few months, so I'm kind of over it - the scent is sort of entrenched in my brain now as the "hey Patch, you're not in your cosy, comfy little house right now, you're somewhere else" scent, so as much as I like it's fruity freshness, I'm looking forward to going home and using my fun new luxury things.

Good lord.  That's ridiculous.  Especially when you consider that I've also found a health-food site that specialises in raw, organic chocolate and I want a max-sized order from same.  And I want a bullet-juicer thing.  And some GHD-ish straightener/curler type devices.  And some schwag from the Soidog foundation.  I have to stop shopping.  I NEVER WILL.

And just a sidenote:  Yeah, I now love "my nightly routine"/"my skincare routine"/"my shower routine" videos as well.  I simply cannot understand this.  
So, I go on  youtube to kill ten minutes while I'm waiting for my pasta to cook/my show to start/my facemask to work.  I watch a haul/empties/review video by Elle Fowler, Tracey and Steph or WinterRose84 (don't know her real name).  They talk about stuff they've loved, their description gets in my head, I begin to violently crave said product/item and the next thing I know I'm punching credit card numbers into Paypal or driving to Priceline to acquire stuff i never realised I couldn't live without.  Then I try them and inevitably love them, so there's no deterrent to doing it again.  These Youtube gurus are in my damn head.

Case in point.  Yesterday I started watching an Eleventhgorgeous nail polish video.  Now, I've always been a bath/body product junkie - I like the little makeup I have, but I've never gotten overly excited about the prospect of buying more, and the 29 nail polishes I've owned since the beginning of forever have languished unused in a drawer for months.  All of a sudden I'm writing lists of colours I need, mentally budgeting to pay off extra on my credit card next pay to compensate for the extra I'm about to spend, and meticulously organising said 29 polishes to remind myself what's already there (it ended up being 28, an ancient bottle of Rossburn in black which was about 1/4 full had turned into sticky goop).  I watched some WinterRose84 videos to add to the inspiration - that lovely lady is obsessed with nail polish to the point that she makes my bath/body product stash look pathetic, and as such, I adore her.  It's always comforting to know that there are other obsessed people in the world, and it's especially nice when they're only a state away.  And today I went into town with the thought of buying one or two new polishes (to make my stash up to a healthy 30 and grab a couple of new shades to liven up the collection), and instead came home with 14 new nail polishes, shampoo and conditioner, bb cream, a Dior lip balm and some awesome Dior perfume/skin care samples.  Who does this?!?

The new stuff, however, is wonderful, and I'm not regretting a thing :)  Nor do I regret any of the other products I've been tempted into buying from my youtube beauty queens, including but not limited to:

*Clean & Clear Fruit Infusions Hydrating Cleanser - the EG girls said it smells like a strawberry and pineapple smoothie for your face, and that it had been discontinued.  It wasn't part of the Australian line at all, so to ebay I went, and I purchased, and I love.  Have got a backup one on the way :)

*S Factor Smoothing Shampoo & Conditioner - available in Australia but only in large, cumbersome, expensive bottles.  Elle Fowler said it smells like a strawberry and cream Otter Pop, and so to ebay again.  Awaiting in anticipation.

*Organix Cherry Blossom & Ginseng Shampoo/Coconut Cream Conditioner - WinterRose84 said the combination of these makes your hair smell like coconut ice.  I'd been eyeing off this brand for a while, so that was the last little push I needed.

*Revlon Photo Ready BB Cream - every beauty blogger in the world had been raving about BB creams, and I had no idea wtf they were, but figured if they're that big a deal, I probably should't be without one.  Grabbed the first one I saw in my shade, then googled it when I got home to find out wtf it is, and it sounds amazing and super-convenient in the extreme.  I was right, I totally needed one.

*Glasshouse Montego Bay Lime & Coconut mini candle - the one Glasshouse scent that never intrigued me, my stepmother had it burning at her house.  Smells delicious, and so I had to have.  Burning it now, want to eat the room.  Have also got plans for a full size one of these now, and a Sohum candle when I go to Melbourne next week.

*Nail polish, several tonnes of - including the O.P.I brand I've heard so much about (thanks girls!).  Haven't used any yet, but all lovely shades.  Particularly enamoured with my two new MAC shades, Coffee Break and Saint Germain.

*The Body Shop Chamomile Cleansing Butter/Chamomile Cleansing Oil - basically the same product in a different package, I couldn't decide which one I wanted so I got both and OMG everyone needs these in their lives.  They smell like heaven and wildflowers and a spring breeze at the fields around Stonehenge and I want to exist WITHIN these products.  They're also amazing on the skin, so soft, gentle and effective.  No bloggers pushed me into that one, that stroke of brilliance was all me people!

*Orofluido - Elle Fowler talked me into putting this vanilla/amber scented hair care line on my ebay Watch list - haven't bought it yet, but i want the shampoo, conditioner and elixir.

*Victoria's Secret Body Scrubs - Elle raved about Pure Seduction and Midnight Dare, and all of a sudden I found myself wanting to try them ... then again, I can't really blame her for that, it doesn't take much to convince me to try a body scrub :)

*Herbal Essences Honey I'm Strong Shampoo & Conditioner - over the last few years I've considered this brand to be supermarket junk I used as a teenager because Mum would buy it for me, but I saw the ad for this and then for some reason images from it appeared in one of my dreams.  Super weird, but too much of a sign sign from the universe for me NOT to buy some $6 haircare.

*The Body Shop Honeymania line - no bloggers on this one, just me, my love of honey, and my love of The Body Shop.  Buying as soon as it's released.  I need the shower gel, body scrub, body butter, bath melt, and lip balm.

*Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla Hair Smoothie - one of the EG girls had it, it looked intruiging, it's on my shopping list.

*Natio Spa/Meditate products - I've been using Natio on and off for years, it's an Australian drugstore brand, and one of the few I actually trust, but I used some of these products at my stepmother's house and remembered why I loved them.  Ordered.

*St Ives Green Tea Scrub - with all the other stuff I've been buying, I figured why not try out something I've been eyeing off for ages?

*Neutrogena Rainbath shower gel.  No joke, I was in the queue at Priceline one day, saw a woman holding some, immediately wanted it.  Purchased.

*Nivea Caramel Cream lip balm - some asshole facebook ad alerted me to it's existence, and with a name like that, how could I not?

*Christian Dior Creme De Rose lip balm - Elle again, though I have always wanted a rose lip balm, just never knew of a good one.  So, me again, also.

*Philosophy shower gels - I always thought these seemed a bit cheap and tacky, but they were featured in so many "what's in my shower" videos (yes I watch those too, I love them, and no, I have no idea why), so I did some ebay research and was won over by some delicious sounding ones.  Belgian Waffles Vanilla Birthday Cake (the Happy Birthday Beautiful version) and Brown Butter Cookie are all as nummy-nummy as they sound, so I'm holding high hopes for Double Rich Hot Cocoa, Salted Caramel Hot Cocoa and Cafe au Lait, which should all arrive this week.  NOM.

*Lush Christmas/Halloween products - these will be released in a couple of weeks, Australia is getting them first!  However, these barely count as seasonal Lush is a no-brainer, of course I'm going to get them.

*Natio Dark Circle Correcter - more of a necessity than anything really, not something to be wildly excited over.  I frequently look like I've met Chris Brown, either due to lack of sleep, crappy genetics (thanks, Mum and Dad) or both.

*Macadamia Oil deep repair hair mask - possibly the only one I'm not completely enamoured with of all my new buys/wishlist items.  That's not to say it's bad, it's just not the holy grail product for me that it is for some of the gurus.  I guess I was expecting something a bit different, whereas this doesn't seem to be anything all that special - then again, that may not be a fair comparison because a lot of these super-repair hair products don't do a lot for me because my hair is already in pretty damn good shape from lack of straigtening/blowdrying/colouring/using tonnes of goopy styling crap everyday.  So while I'm not doing cartwheels over this one, it's still pretty freaking awesome, nicely moisturising, and I'll happily use my two pots before moving on to something else.

*Countless hell-tonnes of new Bath & Body Works/The Body Shop.  Too numerous to list, but loving everything :)  No bloggers required, my own obsession did this little number nicely.  The freebies in the forms of yummy scented pocketbacs didn't hurt either!  Oh, but special mention to the Vermont Sugar Maple hand cream which has a scent that lasts all goddamn day and has me craving sugar cookies.

*Soap & Glory - this is one of those things where I'm a marketing department's dream, because I will buy this shit (and that Benefit Body Oil Mist which is on my wishlist) for the uber-cute packaging alone.  Plus, it gave me a whole other brand to type in to Youtube and scour review/haul videos for :)  One cleanser is on it's way to me, another has me as the sole bidder on ebay, and 7 or 8 other products are on the list of Shit Patch Must Buy In Melbourne Because She Is A Product Hoarding Freak.  Peaches & Clean should be here tomorrow, bidding ends on Clean Mary soon, and the list includes ; Clean Girls, Whipped Clean, Flake Away, Glad Hair Day (shampoo and thick conditioner), Righteous Butter lotion, Glow Lotion and maybe one of their awesome shower loofahs because they are big and pink and look sparkly and this kitschy, retro brand is my new obsession and I may actually die without it.  Seriously.

*Laura Mercier Creme Brulee Body Souffle - Damn you Elle, this looks amazing and I must have it despite the $65 price tag.  Evil, evil, blogger guru woman.

I seriously have to stop this, but I also seriously love it.  Sigh.  Stuff is lovely.


Demon Enchantress

Latest Month

August 2014

House Of Omniscience

Yes, I have tricks in my pocket, I have things up my sleeve. But I am the opposite of a stage magician. He gives you illusion that has the appearance of truth. I give you truth in the pleasant disguise of illusion.

Tennessee Williams
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